Happy 2nd Birthday Violet Mae!

Dear Violet Mae,

First of all, I cannot believe that it’s been two whole years since I first laid eyes on that beautiful face of yours! Those two years have gone by so quickly, so before you continue to grow overnight I wanted to take a moment and write about who you are today, as a newly-turned-two-year-old!

When you were born, you were the size of a baby elephant. Seriously, I couldn’t believe it when the midwife held you up to me and you were all kinds of chunky! That being said, you quickly surprised us all when you turned out to be a bit of a midget (and I mean that in the nicest possible way).  You, my girl are petite, and are still wearing size 1 clothing! It’s funny when people don’t realise your age and just assume you are younger.  So many people think you’re advanced because you can walk/talk when you still look so young.  You’re just happy to be told how clever you are so I don’t think you’ll ever be bothered by your pocket rocket size.

Despite being small in stature, you are BIG on personality! You are by no means a ‘shrinking’ Violet, but instead a strong presence that is constantly surprising us! You have a big, booming voice and you like to be heard.  You like to talk (a lot), you love to sing, and it pleases me no end that you love to dance and perform for anyone who’s watching.

You are kind. You are generous. You know what you want. You are amiable and easy-going but when forced to do something against your will, you will not comply and instead protest loudly so that everybody knows about it. You’re almost always happy and your sunshine-y disposition means that you make friends with easily. You’re a social butterfly and that becomes more apparent every day!

You LOVE your food. You’ve always been a good eater and you like to try new things.  At the moment, some of your favourites are Sushi, mushrooms (raw or cooked), blueberries (you ask for them every single day!) and you’ve recently been introduced to the wonder that is ice-cream and cupcakes! So far, I’ve managed to convince you that Greek yoghurt is ice cream but you’re no fool and I know that I won’t be able to get away with that for too much longer! Sometimes you cry out for cheese in your sleep, and your love for pizza is so fierce that you’ll recognise the Domino’s logo from a fast moving car. I hope that your healthy obsession for food continues as both Mummy and Daddy are that way inclined too!

Despite all of your lovely qualities, you’re not all sweetness and light all of the time and you’ve certainly inherited a stubborn streak from both of your parents.  You’re fiercely independent and like doing everything for yourself. You get extremely frustrated when you’re unable to complete a task on your own and patience is something we’re still working on!

You have so many varied interests, and I can’t wait to see which ones stick as you continue to grow.  As I mentioned before you love to perform and have an excellent sense of humour.  You love nothing more than to ham it up in front of family and friends, and strangers are not immune to your charms either….you are always chatting to random people in the supermarket and flashing them your cheeky grin!

You love to swim, you love the beach and you love the park. You’re an avid picker-up-er of sticks, rocks, leaves and flowers and  it’s so nice to watch you explore the world around you. You love other kids but you are also happy with your own company and can play by yourself for hours. You are happiest when you are barefoot and outdoors running about, and you go stir-crazy if you’ve been cooped up inside for too long.

As your Mama, you know I think you’re the most beautiful creature on this earth but it seems everybody that meets you is just as taken with you as I am! I’m always stopped by people commenting on how lovely your blonde hair is, how cute your curls are you’re often complimented on the brightness of your sweet blue eyes (you get those from your Daddy).  And despite your obviously lovely outward appearance, I also know that your true beauty comes from within and that your soul is even more dazzling than that gorgeous face of yours! Before you were born a psychic told me that the reason I was so sick during pregnancy was because you’re a very old soul and such a strong little presence.  I fully believe this to be true as you have a sense of self that wouldn’t otherwise be attainable in the two short years that you’ve been here.
There are so many wonderful things about you and the best part is that you just keep getting better with every passing day! I hope that one day you read this and realise how much we love you and how happy you’ve made your Daddy and I. I’m so glad that you chose me to be your Mama and for giving me such a lovely sense of contentment. I never tire of up waking up to your sweet little face and I’m so grateful that I get to spend all my days with you!

So Happy Birthday my Honey Girl! Enjoy your special day today…Daddy and I are taking you to see your first ever Movie at the cinema (Minions) and then you’ll also get to celebrate with your family all over again on the weekend at your Sprinkles party! Woohoo!

Big love and kisses galore,

Your Mama xx

Marns the Mama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad DAY!

Ice Cream Bubbles

The highlight of my terrible, horrible, no good very bad day: Bubbles in the shape of an ice-cream cone.

You know those days that you look back on and just think, why the hell did I bother getting out of bed today? That was my day yesterday. It sucked! So I was determined that today would be different, that I’d wake up with a positive attitude, and turn it all around. Instead, the only positive thing about today was that I was positively pissed off! Why? Ok then since you asked…

Yesterday I woke up in a funk. I don’t really have a good reason why, but let’s just put it down to lots of little things not going my way.  V, who is usually an angel of a child, has not been all that angelic of late.  She’s at the boundary-pushing stage, where it doesn’t matter how much I scold, threaten, or as a last resort smack her (read: tap her gently on the bum because I’m anti-smacking or more just a giant pussy) she turns her sweet little face towards me and looks me dead in the eye. Then, after a slight pause laughs heartily and promptly continues doing what I’ve just asked her not to. Sigh.

On top of that, I’m gearing up for my first ever Christmas trade with my little business. For those of you with your own retail business, you’ll know that this is the busiest time of year, and therefore one of the most stressful!  I started out all pumped up and full of ideas, but as Christmas creeps closer I’m quickly losing that sense of anticipation and excitement and I’m instead filled with anxiety and trepidation! Every day I sit down with my to-do list and the expectation that I’ll complete at least one item on it.  Before I know it, its midnight, and I’ve spend the last four hours trying to make a crappy little Facebook ad which upon completion can only be described as ‘shit house’. Yep, I could have used that time to drink wine/take a bath/sleep/cry but instead I wasted it on a ridiculously bad Facebook ad that will never see the light of day! Ahh woe is me!

As I’m sure most of you have experienced your own versions of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day I’m sure that you can relate to the fact that once things start to take a turn for the worse, that turn often leads you down a one-way street to a little ol place called ‘Funky Town’. Now don’t get excited and start singing along, as I am not referring to the super fun sounding ‘Funky Town’ described by the talented band Lipps Inc. I’m instead referring to the place where I reside when in revolting mood, or ‘funk’. So for all intensive purposes today (and yesterday) was and is all Destination: Funky Town. Population: ME!

I made every effort to make today a good day. I wore my tropical shoes with the toucan’s on them. To me, this was a  sure fire way to ward off any negative vibes…but alas the shoes were no match for funky town! I kept trying to send positive happy vibes out to the universe, but the universe kept pretending that it couldn’t hear me, much like Violet does when I tell her not to climb on top of the TV cabinet. Seriously, sometimes I feel like reversing my own anti-smacking stance and giving the Universe a good hard punch to the face!

Toucan Shoes

My Toucan shoes. Or perhaps now known as my Toucan’t shoes.

So for the record, I want to say I tried….I tried to turn that frown upside down, but I just ended up with a weird grimace that wasn’t convincing anyone. I tried to tick off something from my to-do list today but instead I achieved nothing except for buying three containers of bubbles in the shape of ice-cream cones (that were without a doubt, the highlight of my day! and only $3 each).  I tried to be patient and loving as I wrestled a crying, red-faced toddler octopus into the car this afternoon for the long drive home. But instead, I just felt like crying and screaming even louder just to drown her out.

By the time I got home the demon child (I mean Violet) was asleep. I surveyed the house and concluded that it did indeed look like a bomb had hit it, which was exactly how I’d left it. Sadly, my care factor was below zero so I stepped over the piles of toys/washing on the floor and ignored the state of the kitchen as I put the sleeping toddler into bed and wondered if it was too early to have a wine (I concluded that it was, but only because there’s not a drop in the house. Must rectify this situation when the child awakes).

I’m now in bed, venting to you lot instead of putting any effort towards the bazillion things that I should be doing. I’m also wondering how the hell I’m going to conjure up something for dinner when I haven’t bought any groceries for a week. Two minute noodles anyone? Oh wait…we’re out of those too. Le Sigh.

Anyone else residing in Funky Town?

Has anyone else now got the song Funky Town stuck in their head?

Have I ‘Gotta move on on’? 

An open letter to Violet’s teeth (or distinct lack thereof)

Dear Mr Toothy Peg,

Hello! How are you? I do hope you’re well!

Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Marney, Violets Mum. You know Violet – she’s the kid with all the gums that you’ve been working on lately.  I hope you don’t mind me contacting you like this, it’s just that, well….we need to talk.

Violet: Destined for a life of licking Pizza

Violet: Destined for a life of licking Pizza

This might seem a bit out of the blue for you because it’s been months since we originally made your acquaintance.  If I remember correctly, two of your baby teeth popped up in Violet’s gums when she was about 8 months old? (Sorry, I can’t remember exactly when, as I haven’t slept in 15 months). Anyways, I think its high-time we sat down together and discussed the big ol’ elephant in the room (Or to be more on-topic: the big ol’ elephant with no tusks!).

You see, it’s like this Mr Toothy Peg: You’re kinda ruining our lives.

Don’t get me wrong, those two little baby teeth you’ve planted in the bottom gum are all kinds of cute, and are still a source of amusement when Violet uses them to break her arrowroot biscuits in half with a loud, satisfying *SNAP*! But to be honest, we’ve kind of moved on since then. We over it!

Violet Happy Sad

I mean….it’s been more than 6 months of suffering and we’ve only just scraped the surface with those massive top fangs, which, to be quite honest, just seem to dragging their arses. They’ve been sitting there for weeks, shoulders slumped, bored expressions on their faces, lazily hanging out just outside of her top gum, mocking us.

I know this must be awkward, but I’m just going to come right out and say it. What the hell kind of game are you playing at? I mean, despite the weeks and months of pain, fever, snot, drool, restlessness and a whole lotta surprises ‘downstairs’ (fellow parents know what I’m saying), I feel that we’re not getting anywhere! Are you seriously that sadistic? Do you enjoy seeing us all suffer and turn on each other?

I know that you’re a necessary evil and all, but my biggest gripe is that you consistently over-promise and under-deliver! Seriously! We’ve gone out of our way to prepare for each of your new babies arrivals.  I’ve bought 2 different brands of teething gel. I’ve bought teething tablets which Violet now things are a treat, like a tiny tic-tac offering several times a day (If you haven’t tried Hylands teething tablets – I can totally recommend them). So why is it, Mr Toothy Peg, that I’m now the biggest shareholder in baby Nurofen? And for what? You still manage to ruin our days/night regardless of those precious 2mls every 6 hours!!!!

Hmm….what’s that, Mr Toothy Peg? Have I tried those amber teething necklaces/bracelets/dreamcatchers or whatever else you’re pushing onto us poor unsuspecting mothers? Why no! I haven’t! …Why not, you ask? Oh, I’ll tell you why not. Because my days (and nights) are currently ugly enough without some brown, hippy string of amber hanging from my childs throat/arm/ankle! But thanks for asking! (Sorry – I feel pretty strongly about the look of those amber teething products, despite people raving about their benefits, they’re so ugly! but I promise won’t judge you if you use them religiously. To your face anyway).

amber teething necklace

Now I know that during the last few weeks you’ve made some effort to push those top two fangs-extraordinaire through V’s tender little gums, and I’m sure once they’re more than 2 millimetres through they will look absolutely splendid.  But seriously: How longs it gonna take for them to be somewhat useful for chewing food and all?

Alright…..ok….I get it. My hostility isn’t going to make you grow your baby teeth any faster.  But if there’s any way you can hurry it along, I’d really appreciate it.  I’m sure Violet will be eternally grateful, and so will her Peppa Pig pram who’s currently bearing the brunt of her frustrations.

Cheers and all the best,

xx Marns