Today was such a fun day to be a Mama to a toddler and a newborn. Here’s a little insight into the day I’ve had for those of you playing at home:
Went to the post office: Toddler pulled the pram over on top of herself whilst swinging on it. (Thankfully baby wasn’t in it at the time). Elderly people helpfully suggested I don’t let her swing on the pram in future. Yep, thanks for that.
Went to get a much needed coffee at cafe: Waited in front of cash register to order. Lady behind counter went on to serve person in line behind me. Too angry to speak up for fear of what might come out of my mouth. Eventually got served and coffee tasted like shit. Well worth the effort!
Took toddler to Library in an attempt to have a fun outing. Toddler spent the whole time trying to escape, throwing books, jumping on books, then shit her nappy. Smell was so offensive we had to evacuate. Threw worlds biggest screaming fit when trying to leave.
Realised it was past lunch time and perhaps we were all just hungry. No way was I getting those kids outta the car so stopped at KFC drive through and requested a kids meal. ‘Popcorn chicken’ was suggested. Toddler heard this and sounded thrilled so I ordered it. Upon receiving popcorn chicken, toddler WAS NOT thrilled. Apparently she thought she was getting popcorn AND chicken. Cue screaming/crying and refusal to eat box of deceptive popcorn/chicken. Preferred to eat my burger instead.
Got home to find parcels at my door. Yay! Had ordered a pair of togs suitable for a recently-given-birth mother who refuses to wear Nanna swimwear but had just bought a house at the beach. Despite claims of ‘control’ mechanisms around the stomach and them being a ‘flattering’ design, turns out they fulfilled neither promise and were instead both too big, too small and instead of slimming my post-baby body made me look like I was due to give birth any day. Not bad for $80 on sale huh? Guess I’ll be skipping summer this year.
Went outside to check on toddler who was playing quietly in cubby house. Found cubby house was being re-decorated with a tube of toothpaste. Toddler was also covered in toothpaste or ‘paint’ as she called it. Tried to discipline toddler by sending her to her room. She replied with a stern voice ‘NO MUMMY! You go to YOUR ROOM!’.
Dont mind if I do actually….
Isn’t being a Mum just the best job in the world? Have you had one of those days too?
Pass the wine please…..