Marns the Mama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad DAY!

Ice Cream Bubbles

The highlight of my terrible, horrible, no good very bad day: Bubbles in the shape of an ice-cream cone.

You know those days that you look back on and just think, why the hell did I bother getting out of bed today? That was my day yesterday. It sucked! So I was determined that today would be different, that I’d wake up with a positive attitude, and turn it all around. Instead, the only positive thing about today was that I was positively pissed off! Why? Ok then since you asked…

Yesterday I woke up in a funk. I don’t really have a good reason why, but let’s just put it down to lots of little things not going my way.  V, who is usually an angel of a child, has not been all that angelic of late.  She’s at the boundary-pushing stage, where it doesn’t matter how much I scold, threaten, or as a last resort smack her (read: tap her gently on the bum because I’m anti-smacking or more just a giant pussy) she turns her sweet little face towards me and looks me dead in the eye. Then, after a slight pause laughs heartily and promptly continues doing what I’ve just asked her not to. Sigh.

On top of that, I’m gearing up for my first ever Christmas trade with my little business. For those of you with your own retail business, you’ll know that this is the busiest time of year, and therefore one of the most stressful!  I started out all pumped up and full of ideas, but as Christmas creeps closer I’m quickly losing that sense of anticipation and excitement and I’m instead filled with anxiety and trepidation! Every day I sit down with my to-do list and the expectation that I’ll complete at least one item on it.  Before I know it, its midnight, and I’ve spend the last four hours trying to make a crappy little Facebook ad which upon completion can only be described as ‘shit house’. Yep, I could have used that time to drink wine/take a bath/sleep/cry but instead I wasted it on a ridiculously bad Facebook ad that will never see the light of day! Ahh woe is me!

As I’m sure most of you have experienced your own versions of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day I’m sure that you can relate to the fact that once things start to take a turn for the worse, that turn often leads you down a one-way street to a little ol place called ‘Funky Town’. Now don’t get excited and start singing along, as I am not referring to the super fun sounding ‘Funky Town’ described by the talented band Lipps Inc. I’m instead referring to the place where I reside when in revolting mood, or ‘funk’. So for all intensive purposes today (and yesterday) was and is all Destination: Funky Town. Population: ME!

I made every effort to make today a good day. I wore my tropical shoes with the toucan’s on them. To me, this was a  sure fire way to ward off any negative vibes…but alas the shoes were no match for funky town! I kept trying to send positive happy vibes out to the universe, but the universe kept pretending that it couldn’t hear me, much like Violet does when I tell her not to climb on top of the TV cabinet. Seriously, sometimes I feel like reversing my own anti-smacking stance and giving the Universe a good hard punch to the face!

Toucan Shoes

My Toucan shoes. Or perhaps now known as my Toucan’t shoes.

So for the record, I want to say I tried….I tried to turn that frown upside down, but I just ended up with a weird grimace that wasn’t convincing anyone. I tried to tick off something from my to-do list today but instead I achieved nothing except for buying three containers of bubbles in the shape of ice-cream cones (that were without a doubt, the highlight of my day! and only $3 each).  I tried to be patient and loving as I wrestled a crying, red-faced toddler octopus into the car this afternoon for the long drive home. But instead, I just felt like crying and screaming even louder just to drown her out.

By the time I got home the demon child (I mean Violet) was asleep. I surveyed the house and concluded that it did indeed look like a bomb had hit it, which was exactly how I’d left it. Sadly, my care factor was below zero so I stepped over the piles of toys/washing on the floor and ignored the state of the kitchen as I put the sleeping toddler into bed and wondered if it was too early to have a wine (I concluded that it was, but only because there’s not a drop in the house. Must rectify this situation when the child awakes).

I’m now in bed, venting to you lot instead of putting any effort towards the bazillion things that I should be doing. I’m also wondering how the hell I’m going to conjure up something for dinner when I haven’t bought any groceries for a week. Two minute noodles anyone? Oh wait…we’re out of those too. Le Sigh.

Anyone else residing in Funky Town?

Has anyone else now got the song Funky Town stuck in their head?

Have I ‘Gotta move on on’? 


6 thoughts on “Marns the Mama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad DAY!

  1. Oh George! It must be bad if you couldn’t walk out of town Funky Town in those shoes, I really thought they would save your day. I suggest one or a combination of these things to chillax; eat chocolate, drink wine (after pur-chase-ing) do some exercise (whatever tickles your fancy,) and in the words of Elsa, let it go. Just be nice to yourself, ok? Remember, you can do anything but you can’t do everything, and nor do you have to. And now I’m off to Sleepy Town singing Funky Town, so thanks for that! xx


  2. Oh love! I SO know what you’re talking about! I’ve frequented Funky Town a fair bit. And this is the prime time of the year for it!! This shitty stuff comes in waves- it’ll come up, peak and then it always goes back down again. You’ve got a lot on your plate lady, totes understandable that you’d be funking it up right now!! Deep breaths, Peppa Pig episodes and a bit of chocolate go a loooooong way. If you need a hand at all sweets just yell out! I’m not that far away, I’d be happy to help with anything at all! x


  3. Oh I’m so happy you wrote this. I can relate to it all especially when you feel the ‘funk’ (reminds me of Mighty Boosh) and your strong-willed child doesn’t help. Thanks for sharing!
    p.s. I saw Pseudo Echo in concert live (with Village People and Boy George) singing Funky Town. The jumpsuits and electronic music instruments oozed out 80’s.


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