Some parenting advice from the world’s greatest Mother

Today hasn’t been one of my best as a Mama. If you read my last post, you’ll know that Violet is teething at the moment.  She’s like the perfect child 90% of the time. Unfortunately, the other 10% is when she’s teething, and it ain’t pretty!  Last night she was tossing and turning all night, moaning in pain. In the end, I just let her sleep on top of me with her little elbow wedged firmly into my jugular. Whatever, she was so tired and I was wrecked so we just made do.

As a result of a long wakeful night, this morning didn’t get off to a great start. Today I had a webinar scheduled at 10:00am as part of my Clever Cookie Blog School, so I’d have to find something to distract Violet whilst I sat on my laptop for an hour.

Parenting Tip 1 – Never use the TV as a babysitter

Ok, before I became a Mum, I insisted I’d never use the TV as a babysitter. Well, turns out that wasn’t all that realistic! If I didn’t, it means I’d never take a shower, so whatever! I popped Violet down in front of the TV.  It was Pirate Day on ABC for Kids today so she was pretty stoked anyways.  I’d also set up a ‘snack station’ so she could munch away if she got hungry.  She was totally absorbed in PlaySchool so I left her to it.

Violet helping Mummy

Violet ‘helping’ her Mama

Parenting Tip 2 – Supervise your child at all times

Predictably, about 10 minutes into the webinar Violet appeared in front of me, banana in hand, wanting to see what I was up to.  I sat her on my lap, and then she started wiping her banana-smeared fingers all over the laptop.  I put her down on the floor, grabbed a pile of books and toys, and encouraged her to play.  She was quite happy doing this for about 20 minutes.  Next time I looked up, she was walking towards me, chewing.  That’s weird, I thought since her banana was long gone.  “What’s in your mouth?” I asked (seriously, how many times a day do we ask that question?).  She made a weird face, then kept chewing.  “What is it?” I asked again.  By now, she was standing next to me. And thats when I noticed something black on her face. There, on her chin, was a leg. A crunchy, revolting, cockroach leg. “SPIT IT OUT!” I yelled at her.  She calmly put her hand in her mouth and pulled out a wing. Thenk kept crunching. Faaark!

Parenting Tip 3 – Don’t let your child go bare-foot in public

After the cocky incident, it was nap time so I put V down for a snooze. She was awake again after only 45mins, hot, cheeks flushed, and not happy. I tried to give her some lunch but she wouldn’t have it.  I had errands to do so I popped her in the car in the hope that she might sleep on the way.  I arrived at the shops, and realised I didn’t have the pram, OR a pair of shoes for Violet. Shit. Ok, I’ll just carry her! After about 20 mins of wrestling the squirmy toddler, I gave up, and put her down.  Bugger it. She was walking around Spotlight with no shoes on.  And yes, people stared but no, I didn’t care!

Parenting Tip 4 – Don’t feed your child junk food

After visiting the post-office, the chemist and Spotlight, I thought we should head home.  Violet then started cracking it because she was hungry.  I had an organic yoghurt pouch stashed in my bag for this very occasion.  I gave it to her. She literally slapped it out of my hands.  Great. I was starving too, so I thought I’d stop and get something on the way home. I pulled into a cafe, and realised I still had a toddler without shoes.  I scoured the car, and jackpot! A pair of her tiny Dunlop Volleys were on the floor.  I knew they were a bit snug, but I thought I’d be able to get them on.  I crammed her feet into them and then looked at her face. She wasn’t impressed. I looked at her feet. She looked like one of those Geisha’s who’d had her feet bound. Stuff it! I pulled the shoes off and drove to a drive-through so we didn’t have to get out of the car.  I ordered her a tiny fries, scraped the salt off and dabbed the excess oil away, and gave her the packet.  She responded with a big gummy grin and set about stuffing fistfuls of chips into her gob.

Violet chippies

Mama…where’d all my chippies go?

Parenting Tip 5 – Take parenting advice with a grain of salt (or even better: sprinkle it on your babies french fries!)

I totally thought I’d be an amazing earth mother that would never entertain any of these things.  My child would only eat organic, nutritious food. I’d never schedule activities that meant I couldn’t be watching her 24/7. Never in a million years would I let them watch TV or go bare-foot in public.  But then I actually became a Mum, and realised it’s not that easy! In fact, its bloody hard! and she’s not even 2! So please don’t judge me…or if you must me, know that at some point, one of these things is gonna happen to you! And guess what? It’s not the end of the world! Cos sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to get through the day!

Anyone else want to share their own not-so-stellar parenting moments with me? (It’d make me feel better!)

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10 thoughts on “Some parenting advice from the world’s greatest Mother

  1. Lol! Sounds like a usual day in our house! 😛 My girls normally ‘share’ their food with the dog. As in ‘one bite for you, one bite for me’.I’m calling it immunity building. Equally as charming is when the little Small Potato pees in the bath then the girls proceed to drink the water. Oh.my.god. Parent of the year, right here! 😛 Have I made you feel better yet?! x

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  2. Oh yes! My big boy had a hot dog for lunch and dinner on Wednesday, then nuggets and chips in the car for dinner onThursday when we headed off on a road trip. The little man was parked in front of endless ABC4Kids so that I could work, pack and clean to house. Didn’t feel great but you gotta do what you gotta do – and they thought it was great! x

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  3. Holy shit… the cockroach. I’m shuddering. There’s nothing I hate more than cockroaches. It’s one of my fave things about Canberra – no cockies! But like @mymotherlife_ I’ve had a couple of nasty kitty litter incidents in my house. So foul.
    P.S I was determined my child would only eat home-made, nutritious, salt and sugar-free food. But, I was tired and hungry one day around his first birthday and gave him his first maccas chip. It was love at first bite. He literally starts whimpering whenever I’m holding a paper bag, in case there’s hot chips inside. What have I done!?

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    • I literally can’t think about it Lauren…I’m the same with cockies!! And as far as Maccas, my husband and I decided shed not even get a glimpse let alone a taste of Maccas until she was at least 5. She can now recognise a chip from across the room and behaves like a seagull once she’s spotted them. Oops!

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